What I’ve learned from life regarding love

I am the hopeless romantic, turned cynic. I believe in love, and believe in the happily-ever-after. However I also believe that this will never happen for me. Check out the song 'My Sweet Song' by Toby Lightman....and you'll understand where I'm coming from. Anyone who knows my childhood, and my choice of men will understand why I feel this way. I believe people can be happy and IN LOVE with one another. But I also believe that I must have done something in a past life to give me the inability to find that right person for me.

I am proud to say that after being in hurtful, go-no-where, abusive relationships and a year of theropy with a wonderful person, I've come to realize what I want and what I DESERVE. What I will and will not tolorate. But that still doesn't stop you from loving a person who isn't capable of loving you the way you need to be loved or letting themself BE loved. I also feel that I will never have what some people are blessed to have, and I accept that. I'm fine with that. And I will enjoy myself as best as I can. But for those of you who are YOUNG, and just starting out the gate...or those of you who need some guidience from us cyncial's here is a list of things to keep in mind. Maybe this is just theraputic for myself....but here it is none the less.

PERFECT in-sight on being in a relationship (even though these are quoted from a movie): 'The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back.' also ''Every woman has the exact love life she wants....When you're ready to let go, to be un-singIe and un-miserabIe, you will."

When you care for someone, or more importantly love someone, you will have good times and not-so-good times. The GOOD times should out-weigh the not-so-good times. You can hurt for someone, and cry for someone. But you shouldn't be crying over someone.

Communication is key. Don't be afraid to say what you feel, need, or want.

By realizing what it is you want, what you deserve it does not make you selfish to go out and get it.

You can love someone and you can be IN LOVE with someone. Sometimes these two actions are tied up in the SAME PERSON. This is when it gets sticky.

A great love relationship is based on a great friendship.

If a person is not willing to allow love in to their life, it takes too much energy to fight to be allowed in to that person's life.

Your friends will only want the best for you. Don't forget that. A real friend will tell you what they see, or know even if it may hurt to accept that information. They're not saying it to hurt you. They're saying it because they don't want you to get hurt. But they'll give you the time and space to realize this on your own.

Sometimes the person you love is brought in to your life at a certain time to teach you a lesson. If you learn from that lesson, you will come out stronger. It may not be the lesson you expect or even want...but you'll have learned from it.

Confide in the person you love. You'll be surprised with how they either accept what you're saying or give you insight, or even open up more about themself.

Be patient. All good things to those who wait. Just don't wait too long, or you may forget to put yourself first.

Reflection of 2007 (Meme)

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
Host a party with my two brothers.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I am sticking to my resolution thus far, and I may make one for next year too.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No. Oh unless you count Crazy-cat-lady....but we're not close.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
:o( Yes, my cousin Jack. It was tragic on (2) two levels. (1) He was down in Jamaica, VI for his wedding, and we were not there yet. (2) It was so unexpected.

5. What countries did you visit?
None in 2007.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
My own place. :-) Self love, a more committed relationship. Is that too much to ask for?

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
September 28- it was the first night I hung out with someone, and has been leading me down an interesting road.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Speaking up (even though I was pushed) and telling H.R. I did not want a specific situation. This led to me getting to work with the people I like, doing the job I like.

9. What was your biggest failure?
The closeness with my mom....but I think I can regain it.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Bronchitis, sinus infection, a cyst on my side.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
In 2007? I know it's something which I use every day but for the life of me I can't think of what it is right now. ACK!!!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Erm, mine? For not fighting with my mother.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My mother's. Because we had been getting along so well, that I forgot that she can not be the person I'd like her to be, nor can she love me the way I need her to love me. Because of this, and some other stuff she has said to me and her actions, I've come to realize that I can not rely on her for anything.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills, cat food, supporting myself.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Seeing Pooka & Cro`i when I come home at night, seeing someone special, getting ready for a night out.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
'The Way I Am' by Ingrid Michaelson

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer?
I am happier, a bit fatter (but working on that), and on my way to being poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Laugh.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Second-guessing conversations.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
For 2008, I have no clue yet. 2007 was spent seeing Sweeney Todd and having dessert at my cousins.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Yes.....or the beginning of love.

22. How many one-night stands?
None....what I had thought was going to be a 1-night-stand turned in to repeats.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
SuperNatural, Paranormal State, Ghost Hunters, and Grey's Anatomy and Brothers & Sisters.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Yes....and ex-boss who was almost my boss again, but was thwarted and still tries to be EVERYONES boss.

25. What was the best book you read?
For 2007- Asking For Trouble by Elizabeth Young

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Rhianna

27. What did you want and get?
A laptop
28. What did you want and not get?
GPS
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Oh jeebus! 3:10 To Yuma, Bee Movie, and Sweeney Todd

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 31, and had bare-stage rehearsal and ate dinner at Caraba's.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Meeting someone. who has made me realize what I want in life, and to go get it. Forging a closer bond with my cousins.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
As my own. :-) Jeans, sexy tops...sweaters. BOOTS. Boots are very important.

33. What kept you sane?
My cats. Smoking. Nelson and Peter listening to me and making me drinks. No seriously.....a circle of close and good friends keep me sane.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Johnny Depp.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
(Product) Red.

36. Who did you miss?
My Uncle Frank...my Cousin Jack.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
There are two. Keri (my cousin Christina's roommate) and Squirrel.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Don't be afraid to go after what you want.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Cuz I love the way you call me baby.And you take me the way I am."