What I’ve learned from life regarding love
I am the hopeless romantic, turned cynic. I believe in love, and believe in the happily-ever-after. However I also believe that this will never happen for me. Check out the song 'My Sweet Song' by Toby Lightman....and you'll understand where I'm coming from. Anyone who knows my childhood, and my choice of men will understand why I feel this way. I believe people can be happy and IN LOVE with one another. But I also believe that I must have done something in a past life to give me the inability to find that right person for me.
I am proud to say that after being in hurtful, go-no-where, abusive relationships and a year of theropy with a wonderful person, I've come to realize what I want and what I DESERVE. What I will and will not tolorate. But that still doesn't stop you from loving a person who isn't capable of loving you the way you need to be loved or letting themself BE loved. I also feel that I will never have what some people are blessed to have, and I accept that. I'm fine with that. And I will enjoy myself as best as I can. But for those of you who are YOUNG, and just starting out the gate...or those of you who need some guidience from us cyncial's here is a list of things to keep in mind. Maybe this is just theraputic for myself....but here it is none the less.
PERFECT in-sight on being in a relationship (even though these are quoted from a movie): 'The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back.' also ''Every woman has the exact love life she wants....When you're ready to let go, to be un-singIe and un-miserabIe, you will."
When you care for someone, or more importantly love someone, you will have good times and not-so-good times. The GOOD times should out-weigh the not-so-good times. You can hurt for someone, and cry for someone. But you shouldn't be crying over someone.
Communication is key. Don't be afraid to say what you feel, need, or want.
By realizing what it is you want, what you deserve it does not make you selfish to go out and get it.
You can love someone and you can be IN LOVE with someone. Sometimes these two actions are tied up in the SAME PERSON. This is when it gets sticky.
A great love relationship is based on a great friendship.
If a person is not willing to allow love in to their life, it takes too much energy to fight to be allowed in to that person's life.
Your friends will only want the best for you. Don't forget that. A real friend will tell you what they see, or know even if it may hurt to accept that information. They're not saying it to hurt you. They're saying it because they don't want you to get hurt. But they'll give you the time and space to realize this on your own.
Sometimes the person you love is brought in to your life at a certain time to teach you a lesson. If you learn from that lesson, you will come out stronger. It may not be the lesson you expect or even want...but you'll have learned from it.
Confide in the person you love. You'll be surprised with how they either accept what you're saying or give you insight, or even open up more about themself.
Be patient. All good things to those who wait. Just don't wait too long, or you may forget to put yourself first.
I am proud to say that after being in hurtful, go-no-where, abusive relationships and a year of theropy with a wonderful person, I've come to realize what I want and what I DESERVE. What I will and will not tolorate. But that still doesn't stop you from loving a person who isn't capable of loving you the way you need to be loved or letting themself BE loved. I also feel that I will never have what some people are blessed to have, and I accept that. I'm fine with that. And I will enjoy myself as best as I can. But for those of you who are YOUNG, and just starting out the gate...or those of you who need some guidience from us cyncial's here is a list of things to keep in mind. Maybe this is just theraputic for myself....but here it is none the less.
PERFECT in-sight on being in a relationship (even though these are quoted from a movie): 'The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back.' also ''Every woman has the exact love life she wants....When you're ready to let go, to be un-singIe and un-miserabIe, you will."
When you care for someone, or more importantly love someone, you will have good times and not-so-good times. The GOOD times should out-weigh the not-so-good times. You can hurt for someone, and cry for someone. But you shouldn't be crying over someone.
Communication is key. Don't be afraid to say what you feel, need, or want.
By realizing what it is you want, what you deserve it does not make you selfish to go out and get it.
You can love someone and you can be IN LOVE with someone. Sometimes these two actions are tied up in the SAME PERSON. This is when it gets sticky.
A great love relationship is based on a great friendship.
If a person is not willing to allow love in to their life, it takes too much energy to fight to be allowed in to that person's life.
Your friends will only want the best for you. Don't forget that. A real friend will tell you what they see, or know even if it may hurt to accept that information. They're not saying it to hurt you. They're saying it because they don't want you to get hurt. But they'll give you the time and space to realize this on your own.
Sometimes the person you love is brought in to your life at a certain time to teach you a lesson. If you learn from that lesson, you will come out stronger. It may not be the lesson you expect or even want...but you'll have learned from it.
Confide in the person you love. You'll be surprised with how they either accept what you're saying or give you insight, or even open up more about themself.
Be patient. All good things to those who wait. Just don't wait too long, or you may forget to put yourself first.
Labels: Dating, figuring out life, growing-up, love, the opposite sex
posted by Orelinde_03 @ 1:26 PM
2 Comments:
At 1:45 AM ,
Tami said...
Well, I still hold out a little hope for my own happy-ever-after, but each year the hope shrinks a bit. :(
Good sentiments in this post though. :)
At 1:13 PM ,
Orelinde_03 said...
I was feeling a bit meloncholy when I typed that up. Seems the dude I had been hanging with all but fell off the face of the earth...dating wise. Friend and work wise we're still in communication.
Then we had gone out w/ friends (the night prior to my writing this post) and I found out stuff that has been going on with him. I'm torn because I want to wait it out for him, but don't know if it is worth it.
I would love for me to have my happily-ever-after....just don't know if that's in the cards for me. And like you say...each year that goes by a bit of the hope dims.
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