Spider....spider...go away

In case I never told anyone, I HATE bugs. HATE THEM....as in I don't care if they're a 'good' bug or a 'bad' bug. They give me the heebie-jeebies. Spiders especially. To this day whenever I see a spider I will freeze and scream bloody murder until I have someone rescue me from the impending doom of the spider. Which of course means SQUISH AND FLUSH (SOMETIMES DOUBLE FLUSH) so it is not going to return.

So you can imagine my chagrin and horror as I get a call from a co-worker this morning telling me about the MASSIVE, HAIRY ARACHNOID sitting outside the office and the non-cooperation of MALE co-workers to dispose of this menace. You can imagine my shock when another coworker E-MAILED ME THE PHOTO of this menace.

Anyway, in this horror and during the terror-reign of said

arachnoid (at right) this is the e-mails shared between Claire and myself. Please note this insect is still at large and FREAKING us out.

The e-mail:

Claire:There's a great big giant spider in the hallway. If you zoom in, you can appreciate the effect.

Me; WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

WHY ARE YOU TAKING PICTURES OF THAT THING?

AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME THESE PHOTOS? I AM AFRAID OF SPIDERS!

Claire: So am I! BUT NOW IT'S MISSING. MISSING!!!!

Me: WEEEELLLLLLLLLLL,

WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE FROM YOUR DEPT KILL IT WHEN IT WAS THERE?????

NOW IT IS ROAMING FREELY IN THE BUILDING ABLE TO TERRORIZE INNOCENT PEOPLE.

AND WHY ARE YOU TAKING PHOTOS OF IT? SHOULD WE POST THEM IN THE BUILDING AS MISSING? I WONDER IF IT IS RADIO ACTIVE. (LIKE YOU KNOW…AS IN SPIDER MAN?)

Claire: I like to take pictures of freaks of nature. You know, for posterity. We didn't kill it because we would have needed a shovel. You're right - now it's roaming freely, planning its attack in taking over the building. and eating all of our faces.

So if anyone would like come to our office, hunt wrangle and kill this 8-legged freak, please feel free. Because now I'm envisioning this thing launching from the ground or ceiling, and chewing our faces off.