What to do when you're the 'grown-up'

So here I go, throwing a pity party for myself. I know it, and I'm sure I'll be told by certain friends what I 'NEED' to do. But you know, with financial issues, and feelings of obligations doing 'what needs to be done' and 'knowing what should be done' are two different things. Many times in the past I have griped about family stuff, and mainly my problems with my mom. And although we have our ups and downs mom and me, I have to say we're becoming one another's support system and allies due to the living situation we're in.

You see, I live with mom and her sister. We're pretty much like the 'Golden Girls' with my mother probably being 'Sophia', me being 'Blanch' and my aunt....well although I'd love to say she's the 'Dorothy' of the trio, I think she's more of the 'Rose'. And not in a good way. My aunt is retired, forced to retire earlier than expected because her company went out of business. And continued to be in retirement because she has difficulty moving around. Doctors have proclaimed her to be a 'medical mystery' on more than one occasion. So that means that it is my mother and me supporting the house and my aunt. To put it bluntly, we live paycheck to paycheck...and struggle to keep a house that we really can't afford. It is VERY EXHAUSTING.

But that's the least of our worries. Because over the past couple of years, as my aunt's disability becomes more pronounced, she has become more and more argumentative. She does not focus on conversations. She has become to not identify or notice things she is looking for (and again becomes argumentative) when she can't 'find them.' For example: if she goes in the fridge to get milk, she does not see the milk. Mind you the milk is right in front of her, not hidden behind anything else. And then she gets annoyed because 'we do not have any milk'. So I will get up and show her the milk, and she will insist that it wasn't there two minutes ago.

My aunt refuses to go to the doctor. And it is very upsetting to see her in this state. She has her good moments and her 'not-so-good' moments. This past Saturday she went to a seminar with me, and had a blast. The time we were together was like times from the past. It's not fair....on any levels. Last week my mom had gone away...and it was just Ida and myself and I never wanted my mom home more than then. I fear that my aunt has the beginnings of dementia.