Sarcasm & Cynicism...served up by Single Grl

Life is full of stories and as they say the truth is stranger than fiction. Ask who knows me. I may speak softly, and I may look sweet. But under NO circumstances think for just one second that what you see is what you get. Because when you know me, know the real me you know that I'm anything but what you see. Most of the time. So read on my friends. And you will catch my gripping, views, sarcasm and dry of whit. Read on....I dare you.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Why? Why do we torture ourselves???

Why? For the love of Mike, why do we do things that we know are going to be bad for us in the long run? Nope...I'm not talking about smoking or drinking (too much) or even over eatting (not this post.)

I'm talking about the human's desire to scare one's self nearly to death? To deprive one's self of sleep? To be beasically scared shitless over something as stupid as horror movies. Now I love movies....of all genre. Give me an action flick, a chick flick, something deep and horric (in the fact that this actually happened) such as Hotel Rowanda. I'll take them all. But nothing gets my juices flowing more than a good scary movie.And gore does not have to factor int o the scariness of a movie. You can have all the blood and guts (take the Scream Trilogy for example) and yeah it can be good. (And I love the original Scream). But gore does not equal fright. For the first time in my life, about a year ago...I saw The Exorcist. In my house, in the dark, with my aunt. (My aunt, who mind you fell asleep on me.) And As I sat, frozen, in the middle of my couch in horror, unable to move to change the channel...knew that even though technology and special effects had advanced since the 1970's, that this movie will still be the #1 horror flick in my book. In fact, after watching Exorcist, didn't sleep for a month. Granted, we had squirrles in our attic, so all I kept thinking of was Captain Howdy above...but you catch the drift. I have never watched The Exorcist again, nor the new prequal to it, or any of the follow-ups to it.

Which brings me to last night. Home, and vegging on the couch, with Aunt Ida...my partner in crime. We both love the supernatural, and both love vampire movies. So when we saw (at 8pm) the Blade owuld be going on tv (at 9pm), did the dance of joy. It had been ages since we saw Blade. But this left us with an hour to kill until Blade went on. And what else was hitting the screen at 8:00pm, but Land Of The Dead (w/ Dennis Hopper.) A zombie flick. ZOMBIES! The one horror creature that I can not tolorate. The one horror genre which freaks me out to no end. ZOMBIES! As in eat your brains, tear the flesh from your limbs and feast on you, turning you in to one of them. Let me repeat; Zombies- as in: Night Of The Living Dead, Dawn Of The Dead, Day Of The Dead, 28 Days Later, Shaun Of The Dead. Trust me, if a movie has anything with _____ Of The Dead, in the title, I will not be watching.

This goes back to my childhood. When (and I shit you not) I was about 6 or 7 years old and my Aunt Kay and her daughter babysat me. It was in the dead of the night, at least in my mind, and I had to run home (2 houses down) to my house when my mom got back. But I had just watched zombies terrorize towns....creep out of graves, and crash through morge walls. I was scared! What kid in their right mind wouldn't be? And I carried this fear of Zombie movies with me to my adulthood. Oh Aunt Kay and her daughter was great for the babysitting and making me watch 'awesome' horror flicks. Prom Night, House On Haunted Hill, Ants, Poltergeist....I saw 'good' and 'bad' horror movies with them every time. But Zombies....that just freezes my blood. Freezes my blood to the point that when I go to a cematery I'm on the look out for the undead. Sad but true.

So last night, what do I say to Ida when I see 'Land Of The Dead' about to go on? And I quote (don't you just love the fact that I have no shame sharing this with you all?) 'I know I won't be able to sleep for a week watching this movie....but do ya wanna watch it?" And Ida looks at me and says "Sure. Why not?" And here is the part that I just don't get. I watched it. The whole thing! Jumping, covering my eyes from time to time...screaming at the idiot character of Dennis Hopper for getting chomped on and then blown-up. And after it was over, running (no joke) up the stairs to grab my p.j.'s, brush my teeth, and grabbing my prized stuffed animal, and protector Dakota, only to run back down the stairs. Why? So I could then watch Blade....because Blade (to me) isn't scary.

Ida was shocked when I filled her in on my childhood traumaization, what with zombies. And she was amazed when I told her why I so fear going to funeral homes and cemateries. (Although I did take a real COOL photo of a cemetery in Boston.) And she was great...because even though I made fun of myself for doing this to myself last night...she didn't mock me for sleeping with my stuffed animal/protector Dakota and the two cats Pooka and Cro`i. Pooka and Cro`i, the two world famous zombie killers.

Which brings me back to my question. Why? What is with the human's fascination of torturing and frightening themselves?

Sunday, May 28, 2006

It MUST be spoken about...Celebrity baby names:


Ok, I really wasn't going to go there. I mean, a ton of people have been following the outbreak of celebrity babies being born and their names they're getting stuck with. And I am all for unique names or ones that are not so common. But why give your kid a name that is just WRONG?!? Because no matter what, child of celebrity or not, kids are mean. And you know they'll be picked on three times oner: by kids, by the press, and by fans. So why do this to your child? An innocent baby you're supposed to love unconditionally? So with the birth of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's daughter felt this must be addressed. Also, after googling what I refer to as 'the dog movie name' did find Shiloh does have a somewhat cool meaning. However, who is actually going to remember what the name stands for? It still will be thought of as the 'dog movie name' when people refer tot he Pitt-Jolie offspring. What does Shiloh mean? The word Shiloh appears in Genesis 49:10. It means “The Ruler to Whom the people will submit” More goof bucket celebrity baby names in my opinion are:
Melissa Etheridge / Julie Cypher Musician, Singer
Beckett
Bailey Jean

Michael Hutchence / Paula Yates Singer
Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily

Friday, May 26, 2006

Ways I kill time when I am stuck in the office


Hey y'all. Yes...this is the second time today I've used the word y'all. Guess I am practicing for when I go down to Virginia next month. No matter how it kills me to post in one color will do so as I was questioned about using random colors in my posts. I was just trying to make it pretty for.... you guys. Fine...don't appreciate my artistic expression.

So it is Friday, and now is 3:48 pm (est)...and I am almost all by myself in the office. Bored out of my head. With no one of a fun nature to talk to. My best friend is away in sunny Florida, having a great time....he won't return until June 1st. Claire is on her week of Summer hours, so she and another co-worker got released at 12:15. And the dastardly duo from hell who torture me have been out of the office as of 12 noon, and 3:00. 'Big Bad' left about a half hour ago...and my boss left about 1 1/2 hours ago. So here I am....all alone. With my work all caught up. Ok, I can do some filing but that'll take all of what 15 minutes? Might as well save that until the real end of the day.

Which brings us to now. When I am updating the blog. Updating in one color, thank you very much. What have I done to pass my time? Surf the net. YEP. I am. I did. And I will do so once again. Probaly after I do the filing though. Some of my daily site that I check out...and the ones I really go to town trying to kill time this afternoon are below:
  1. IMDB.com (because I need to watch the POTC trailer, and see who's birthday is today.)
  2. Foodnetwork.com (because there may be a killer b-b-q recipe I missed or adult cocktail that whet's my whistle.)
  3. MSN.com (just because I need to see Hugh Jackman as Wolverine...lust lust...pant...pant.)
  4. Sobannyc.com (because I will be in NYC next Saturday and want to try and think of what I'll buy myself.)
  5. Coldstonecreamery.com (because I can no longer eat ice cream, especially their ice cream anymore without popping a zillion lactaid pills as I think my stomach is being shredded. But what the hell, why not look at the yummies and long for them. Right?)
  6. Google.com (because Google is great. And what do I Google? Photos of thunder storms as it's raining right now...and places to stay in Boston/Salem and Virginia as I need to find a hotel for when I go down south. Boston just because I can't believe a week has passed since I was away.)

Of course I have e-mailed back and forth numerous times with my circle of people I chat with all day long. But alas they're leaving their offices early today too. But what I think is SO SO cool is the photo I added above. Not only is that Paris getting zapped....but it took place on June 3, 1902. And although I was not born in 1902...June 3rd is my birthday.

Ok....y'all let me get back to work. Yeah...my filing. Guess now's as good a time as any to do it. That way it looks like I did something this afternoon.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Pet owners depicting their pets and bosses humanized cartoon villains


Okay....so it has been ages absolutely ages since I last posted to la blog. Truth be told, weeks ago there was this horrific day at the office and I posted this absolutely wonderful blog that was about a zillion words in text ranting and raving about greedy, hateful liars. In other words, people (some of whom I work with) and others who just roam around our world....sucking all our air. Well when I hit the spell check button, the anti-blogger gremlin erased my post, never to be seen again. I cried, I felt completely defeated as I couldn't remember all of what I wrote or how I phrased it. All I know was that it was the mother of all blogs and that it was gone. Then I just hit a major dry patch with nothing blog-worthy and I geared up for a weekend trip up to Boston. That may, one day (the trip I mean) become a blog entry for another time. I am still pondering that.
Anyway, today's post will be about the big kahuna or someone who wants to come off as big kahona. I have in the past referred to him as 'Big Bad.' And I really don't think he is 'big bad', in the sense that when he had interviewed and hired me, was a gem so kind. When I worked for him, for months he would thank me and my friend for all our hard work. He was the only boss that I WANTED to give a Boss Day gift to, and (silly me) did. A bunch of stuff went down with our company around the holidays, with staffing, and all of us was on pins and needles. But through it all, 'Big Bad' seemed to still be likeable, if not lovable. (Ok, maybe loveable may be taking it a bit far but you catch the drift.) 'Big Bad' is the kind of guy that if you're having an emergancy, he is completely there for you, with you having to do what you need to get through it.

Let me just say....NOT NO MORE HE AIN'T!!! He snoops in peoples cubes, he pouts, he skulks through the office and will shuffle through papers on peoples desks. He seems to totally buy into the conspiracy theory, such as if a MAJOR outside vendor is unhappy with his business dealings with them that they compromise our service they're providing. Compromising to the point where they'll take out a New York burrows service just to spite us. Yeah, I never really believed he'd think like this until I heard him actually saying it.
Yesterday Ia friend of mine asked me to go ask 'Big Bad' a question on their behalf as they'll be going away on vacation. I had to go to 'Big Bad' as he was the one who had set the questionable act in motion. So I did...I asked, with not a second thought. As 'Big Bad' isn't a wack-o and I was helping out a friend. Uh...shhhhaaaaa! 'Big Bad' went nuts because I wasn't supposed to know anything about this situation....as he had told my friend in confidance. And he went as far as saying to me that '_____ is a big oy. He should have come to me direct.' Well yeah, he should have and could have. But he wasn't going to be around and asked me to. Plus I am not going to go squeel about the 'deep dark secret'. I informed this to 'Big Bad'. It made no difference to him. He was in a snit and gave me the cold shoulder the rest of the day.
'Big Bad' likes to play people against people too it now comes out. And if he is angry at you, will ignore you or send messages to you through a zillion e-mails or asking people to relay the message. Case in point: today I recieve yet another one of his stupid emails. "Make sure _____ reads this today.And responds to it." Ummmm, do I stand over my boss, and make sure he reads each and every word of the e-mail? And if he does not read it...do I threaten to staple him to death? Turns out he hasn't spoken to my boss (the nice boss) since Monday.
And this is where my tagline for today's post comes in. I was going to post a NICE photo of Boston for everyone's viewing pleasure. But then I thought of my post that had gotten eaten. The cool one with all the villan pictures I had inserted in to it. And I got the idea to post a Disney Villan here...to pose as 'Big Bad'. And that was when it hit me....the look on Jafar's face above is one that 'Big Bad' gives to us. 'Big Bad' is a villan alright....turns out he also looks like one too.