I’m a Good Share-er Mommy…See?

Last night, as I was in the kitchen, trying to do three things at once (as usual) and I was exhausted. Because you know….I think I am Wonder Woman, when really I am just Super Girl. For example: due to summer hours at work, I am in the office until 5:30 at night, which is not anything different, as I usually work late anyway. But then, I stopped off for tanning, and then home to pick up Ida (and mom by the way) and ran to the craft store Michaela, the party supply store Party Hardy, and then stopped off for dinner. Hence our getting home at 9:15 at night, and I still had to get things done.

Because I have failed to mention that Ida convinced me to start a side business with her. Shah! I am the one doing the works, not her. But wanting to get our company name out there, promised Pal-O-Mine a basket to raffle off (full of our goods) at their event which is taking place at Belmont Race Track on June 1st. So for the past week and a half, I have been making handmade soaps, candles, cookies, dog snacks, and chocolates for this gift basket.

Which brings me back to the kitchen? Last night. At 9:15pm. With me trying to package up all the items to put in the gift basket, as well as separate stuff I had made for a co-workers baby shower tomorrow (i.e. chocolates and cookies.) Plus avoid stepping on Blaze the Wonder Pup who is now 7 months old, and HUGE, and enjoys being right along side me, AND talk to a friend of mine, whose mom passed away and her wake is being held today. Get it? See all the things I had to juggle at once? Did you fail not to see the part where I mentioned Blaze being 7 months old, HUGE, and being under foot?

But I was coping, and getting it all done. The basket was looking oh-so-pretty, and oh-so-full. Lisa was actually laughing at a few of my stupid life stories, Blaze was bringing me her baby tiger (the one plush toy she has yet to murder) and we were fetching it between my getting the basket together. BUT THEN…but I repeat, then I see Blaze happily jogging in to the family room, was a jiggly noise. You know…like as if you were to shake a bottle of pills. And I see that she doesn’t have her squeaky sneaker (which she had switched off from her tiger to fetch with) at my feet. Woooahhhhh nelly, what did she have?

‘Blazie-butt….come. What do you have?’ I call concerned and horror stricken. She turns, with tail a wagging, and I note she DOES have a bottle of pills in her mouth. Blaze comes to me, and looks sad, with the ‘uh-oh….are you mad at me?’ look she has perfected way too quickly. So I remove the bottle from her mouth, and notice that it’s a bottle of my prescription medicine…my Zoloft.

What did Blaze do? And why am I titling this entry I’m a Good Share-er Mommy…See?Simple. Because Blaze the Wonder Pup swapped me out her squeaky sneaker (a toy which makes her happy) for my bottle of Zoloft (which keeps my anxiety at bay.) She was sharing, and expected the trade off to be a valid one. Needless to say, my bottle of meds is back upstairs in the medicine cabinet, and she was given her squeaky sneaker and some baby carrots for not destroying the bottle. Maybe that was Blaze’s way of telling me I don’t need the Zoloft anymore, because I have her. Either way, Blaze is a good share-er

Family Drama never stops…not even for death

So instead of having a nice Memorial Day Weekend, filled with sun tanning, and b-b-q’s, my family paid our final good-bye’s to my cousin Jack who had passed away in Jamaica. We had finally gotten his body back to the states Thursday night, and held a one-day wake on Friday, followed by the funeral on Saturday. This was done per the undertaker’s instructions, as not to hold his body any longer.

Friday I was standing next to my cousin ‘V’, trying to comfort him (due to the loss of his brother) When Crazy-cat-lady (another cousin of mine who has ‘disowned me, mom and Ida), as well as Crazy-cat-lady’s mother came up to pay their respects to ‘V’. Now, even though they’re not talking to me, I only think it the right thing to do, if they would have said ‘hello’. But they didn’t. They just glared at me, turned and walked away. Now I know what some people would say….why didn’t I make the move and say ‘hello’ to them. But me and mine aren’t the ones with the animosity. So why should I make the first move. I DO however, always go up to Crazy-cat-lady’s father (my uncle) and pay him the respect as he is mom’s brother. After the first viewing, and during the break we were all invited back to Jack’s sister house for a bite to eat, and to rest. However a bunch of Jack’s friends, and his fiancée (is it right to still call her that?) decided to go raise a toast to Jack at the bar where he and Tish had met. So Ida and I went along.

When we all reconvened at the funeral parlor for the second viewing, and I was talking to mom, found out that Crazy-cat-lady and her parents, and brother’s did NOT go back to Jack’s sister’s house. Instead they opted to go all the way towards my house, where Crazy’s married brother lives (across the street from me.) Now, is this anyway to show support to someone who has just lost a sibling?

Saturday, the day of the funeral was no different. The lot of Crazy-cat-lady’s gang sat there with pusses on their face as though it was a chore for them to pay respect to a family member who passed away.) Again, don’t get me wrong…going to funeral’s shouldn’t be something anyone looks forward to ‘oh yes, please let’s go!’ (Note sarcasm.) We get to the church for the mass, and everyone is filtering in to the pews, but being that my mother and I were going to be doing the readings, needed to sit on the end, so as not to climb over everyone. Crazy-cat-lady’s parents sat in the pew in front of us, but Crazy and her baldheaded hubby made a point to try to push past, so as to sit on the end, right behind her parents. Why they couldn’t sit WITH her parents is beyond me. So mum says to her ‘______, Rose and I need the end as we’re doing the readings.’ Crazy rolls her eyes, and instead slides down the pew.

Come the part of mass, when you offer the sign of peace to one another….Crazy-cat-lady’s folks do not turn around to offer it to us, nor does C-C-L. However my mother went out of her way to issue it to Crazy-cat-lady, to make a point. Fast forward to the cemetery; where in this cemetery they still hold the casket graveside, and have everyone gather around for the final parting. As everyone is approaching the grave site, Crazy-cat-lady, her mother, father, and one brother ACTUALLY bum rush mom, myself, my aunt and uncle and three cousin’s so as they can be in the first row around the grave opening. Tell me, what the hell is that all about? I had to bite my lip from laughing as they got pushed back, so as Jack’s siblings and Tish could be the ones immediately around it. One of the funeral directors was handing out roses and carnations randomly so we could place them on the casket, and being that I was handed a carnation, Crazy-cat-lady went and SNATCHED a rose, as I had been handed a carnation. My one cousin ‘D’ (who they do not speak to either) looks at me and says: ‘If you have a rose, does it mean you love him more than if you have a carnation?’ I guess in Crazy-cat-lady’s mind it does.

And so, after the final ceremony, as we were making our way back to our cars, my one aunt asks C-C-L’s mother if they were going back to Jack’s sister’s house where the gathering would take place. To our surprise C-C-L’s mother snapped ‘No! We’re going home.’ My aunt then proceeded to tell Crazy-cat-lady’s mother that she would be attending C-C-L’s baby shower (which she is throwing for herself) on her own, as ‘D’ is not going because they never invite ‘D” sister-in-law. (That is a whole other story.) So of course Crazy-cat-lady’s mother got bent out of shape that cousin ‘D’ is not attending. And then the lot of them drove off in a huff leaving us in a cloud of dust so to speak, stewing in their own juices.

And there you have it folks. Family drama continues on, no matter what. Like I was saying to mom and Ida over the weekend, if anything Jack’s death has showed us that life is too short for this crap…it seems Crazy-cat-lady and her family don’t see it.

Prepairing to say good-bye

It is with a heavy heart that I type this entry in the blog. The good news is that Jack's body will be back home as of tonight, and Tish will be with those who can comfort her as well. Last night I learned more about the purchasing of a casket on-line than I had ever wanted to know about.

Due to the costs of the (now cancelled) wedding, and all the fees for shipping Jack home Lucretia is trying to NOT NECESSARILY CHEAP-OUT...but be frugil when it comes to the funeral. There is so much drama going on with the wedding vendors, that this is a necessary evil...to be frugil. So she had asked me to find a place, on-line to purchase a casket for her brother which would be less expensive than purchasing it from the funeral home.

Did you know that you could buy a PRE-OWNED casket to place your loved one for eternity? (Needless to say, we are NOT going that route.)

Also, if you were a huge kiss fan, which Jack is...and had the dough to shell out; could have a Kiss themed coffin. (We're NOT going that route either.)

I did get Lucretia in contact with a company, which has moderatly priced caskets which are NEW, and can be delivered today.

Oh yeah, you can also purchase a casket from Costco or eBay as well.

RAGE!

I AM GOING TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS...BECAUSE I AM ANGRY. I AM TYPING IN RED COLORING BECAUSE I AM FURIOUS. FURIOUS WITH LIFE...THE POWERS THAT BE...GOD...WHOEVER OR WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE IN. I AM HURT...I AM CONFUSED...I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

LET ME BACK TRACK...BECAUSE I KNOW MOST OF YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I AM SO NAGRY AND HURT. THIS PAST THURSDAY; MY COUSIN JACK PASSED AWAY IN AN UNTIMELY MOMENT IN HIS LIFE. HE WAS ONLY 49 YEARS OLD, AND HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN CELEBRATING. HE HAD BEEN CELEBRATING, HE WAS ALIVE AND LOVING LIFE. I WON'T PRETEND THAT JACK AND I WERE UUBER CLOSE...BUT WE WERE CLOSE. AND HE WAS THE TYPE OF MAN THAT WAS THERE FOR YOU, WHEN YOU NEEDED HIM. HE WAS FUNNY, SMART, AND FULL OF LIFE.

JACK HAD MET A VERY NICE WOMAN BY THE NAME OF TISH, AND AFTER DATING FOR MANY YEARS, HE DECIDED TO POP THE QUESTION AND MAKE HER HIS WIFE. THIS WAS A MAN, WHO NEVER WANETD TO GET MARRIED...WHO HAD LOST GIRLFRIENDS IN THE PAST DUE TO HIS RELUNCTEDNESS TO SETTLE DOWN. BUT LAST YEAR HE DECIDED THAT HE WANTED TO TAKE THAT NEXT BIG STEP...AND BECOME TISH'S HUSBAND, PARTNER, AND EXPAND OUR FAMILY. WE WERE ALL ELATED. TISH IS FUNNY, CARING, AND WAS GOOD FOR JACK.

JACK WAS NEVER TRADITIONAL...AND WE ALL ACCEPTED THAT HE MARCHED TO THE BEAT OF HIS OWN DRUM. HE HAD TRAVLED THE WORLD, GOING TO SUCH PLACES SUCH AS TIBET, CHINA, EGYPT, AND BUTON TO NAME A FEW PLACES WHEN HE HAD BEEN A FINE ARTS PACKEST. HE LIKED TO WEAR HIS HAIR LONG...VERY LONG, AND HE HAD SOME VERY UNIQUE FRIENDS. BUT THIS WAS JACK. SO WHEN HE AND TISH ANNOUNCED THAT THEY WERE GOING TO HAVE A DESTINATION WEDDING IN JAMAICA, THE WEST INDIES....WE WERE ALL NOT SURPRISED. YET WE WERE DISAPPOINTED AS NONE OF OUR FAMILY WOULD BE GOING TO JOIN THEM FOR THE WEDDING CERAMONY DUE TO THE COST OF THE TRIP. JACK AND TISH WERE NOT AT ALL OFFENDED OR HURT BECAUSE THEY WERE PLANNING A WEDDING RECEPTION BACK IN NY, ON MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND FOR ALL THEIR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES TO CELEBRATE THEIR WEDDED BLISS WITH THEM.

THIS PAST WEDNESDAY, JACK AND TISH JETTED OFF TO JAMAICA, AWAITING THE DAY WHERE THEY'D BE PRONOUNCED MAN AND WIFE (WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN 5/19/07.) THURSDAY THEY PICKED UP SOME FRIENDS FROM THE AIRPORT, WHO WERE IN THEIR WEDDING PARTY, AND WENT BACK TO THEIR HOTEL TO SHOWER AND THEN HAVE SOME DINNER. SOMETIME BEFORE 6PM ON THURSDAY, JACK SUFFERED A MASSIVE HEART ATTACK AND PASSED AWAY.

THIS MAN WAS CHEATED OF A FUTURE. HIS FIANCEE WAS CHEATED OF GROWING OLD WITH THE MAN SHE LOVED. MY FAMILY WAS CHEATED OF ONE OF THE MOST INTRIGUING MEMBERS OF OUR 'CLAN.' WHY WAS HE SNATCHED FROM US NOW? HE HAD CHEATED DEATH ONCE BEFORE, AS YEARS AGO HE WAS IN A HORRIFIC CAR ACCIDENT, AND ALMOST DECAPITATED. WHY WOULD GOD OR WHOEVER YOU BELIEVE IN, LET HIM AND US SURVIVE THAT, ONLY TO STEAL HIM FROM US NOW? WHY WOULD GOD LET HIM PASS AWAY WITHOUT ANY OF HIS BROTHERS OR SISTER, OR REST OF THE FAMILY NEAR BY HIM? I DON'T UNDERSTAND, AND THIS MAKES ME ANGRY. BECAUSE I THOUGHT GOD WAS A LOVING ENTITY...ONE WHO DID NOT HURT. WHY WOULD HE CALL JACK HOME, JUST BEFORE HE MARRIED....JUST WHEN WE WAS TAKING THE NEXT STEP IN LIFE? WHY WOULD GOD PUT JACK'S FAMILY THROUGH THE TORTURE OF TRYING TO GET HIS BODY BACK TO THE STATES, OF HAVING TO CANCEL A WEDDING, OF TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OUT OF AN UNTIMELY DEATH? WHERE IS GOD NOW? AND WHY WOULD HE NOT ALLOW ANY OF US TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO SOMEONE WE LOVE? I AM ANGRY....