Family Drama never stops…not even for death
So instead of having a nice Memorial Day Weekend, filled with sun tanning, and b-b-q’s, my family paid our final good-bye’s to my cousin Jack who had passed away in Jamaica. We had finally gotten his body back to the states Thursday night, and held a one-day wake on Friday, followed by the funeral on Saturday. This was done per the undertaker’s instructions, as not to hold his body any longer.
Friday I was standing next to my cousin ‘V’, trying to comfort him (due to the loss of his brother) When Crazy-cat-lady (another cousin of mine who has ‘disowned me, mom and Ida), as well as Crazy-cat-lady’s mother came up to pay their respects to ‘V’. Now, even though they’re not talking to me, I only think it the right thing to do, if they would have said ‘hello’. But they didn’t. They just glared at me, turned and walked away. Now I know what some people would say….why didn’t I make the move and say ‘hello’ to them. But me and mine aren’t the ones with the animosity. So why should I make the first move. I DO however, always go up to Crazy-cat-lady’s father (my uncle) and pay him the respect as he is mom’s brother. After the first viewing, and during the break we were all invited back to Jack’s sister house for a bite to eat, and to rest. However a bunch of Jack’s friends, and his fiancée (is it right to still call her that?) decided to go raise a toast to Jack at the bar where he and Tish had met. So Ida and I went along.
When we all reconvened at the funeral parlor for the second viewing, and I was talking to mom, found out that Crazy-cat-lady and her parents, and brother’s did NOT go back to Jack’s sister’s house. Instead they opted to go all the way towards my house, where Crazy’s married brother lives (across the street from me.) Now, is this anyway to show support to someone who has just lost a sibling?
Saturday, the day of the funeral was no different. The lot of Crazy-cat-lady’s gang sat there with pusses on their face as though it was a chore for them to pay respect to a family member who passed away.) Again, don’t get me wrong…going to funeral’s shouldn’t be something anyone looks forward to ‘oh yes, please let’s go!’ (Note sarcasm.) We get to the church for the mass, and everyone is filtering in to the pews, but being that my mother and I were going to be doing the readings, needed to sit on the end, so as not to climb over everyone. Crazy-cat-lady’s parents sat in the pew in front of us, but Crazy and her baldheaded hubby made a point to try to push past, so as to sit on the end, right behind her parents. Why they couldn’t sit WITH her parents is beyond me. So mum says to her ‘______, Rose and I need the end as we’re doing the readings.’ Crazy rolls her eyes, and instead slides down the pew.
Come the part of mass, when you offer the sign of peace to one another….Crazy-cat-lady’s folks do not turn around to offer it to us, nor does C-C-L. However my mother went out of her way to issue it to Crazy-cat-lady, to make a point. Fast forward to the cemetery; where in this cemetery they still hold the casket graveside, and have everyone gather around for the final parting. As everyone is approaching the grave site, Crazy-cat-lady, her mother, father, and one brother ACTUALLY bum rush mom, myself, my aunt and uncle and three cousin’s so as they can be in the first row around the grave opening. Tell me, what the hell is that all about? I had to bite my lip from laughing as they got pushed back, so as Jack’s siblings and Tish could be the ones immediately around it. One of the funeral directors was handing out roses and carnations randomly so we could place them on the casket, and being that I was handed a carnation, Crazy-cat-lady went and SNATCHED a rose, as I had been handed a carnation. My one cousin ‘D’ (who they do not speak to either) looks at me and says: ‘If you have a rose, does it mean you love him more than if you have a carnation?’ I guess in Crazy-cat-lady’s mind it does.
And so, after the final ceremony, as we were making our way back to our cars, my one aunt asks C-C-L’s mother if they were going back to Jack’s sister’s house where the gathering would take place. To our surprise C-C-L’s mother snapped ‘No! We’re going home.’ My aunt then proceeded to tell Crazy-cat-lady’s mother that she would be attending C-C-L’s baby shower (which she is throwing for herself) on her own, as ‘D’ is not going because they never invite ‘D” sister-in-law. (That is a whole other story.) So of course Crazy-cat-lady’s mother got bent out of shape that cousin ‘D’ is not attending. And then the lot of them drove off in a huff leaving us in a cloud of dust so to speak, stewing in their own juices.
And there you have it folks. Family drama continues on, no matter what. Like I was saying to mom and Ida over the weekend, if anything Jack’s death has showed us that life is too short for this crap…it seems Crazy-cat-lady and her family don’t see it.
Friday I was standing next to my cousin ‘V’, trying to comfort him (due to the loss of his brother) When Crazy-cat-lady (another cousin of mine who has ‘disowned me, mom and Ida), as well as Crazy-cat-lady’s mother came up to pay their respects to ‘V’. Now, even though they’re not talking to me, I only think it the right thing to do, if they would have said ‘hello’. But they didn’t. They just glared at me, turned and walked away. Now I know what some people would say….why didn’t I make the move and say ‘hello’ to them. But me and mine aren’t the ones with the animosity. So why should I make the first move. I DO however, always go up to Crazy-cat-lady’s father (my uncle) and pay him the respect as he is mom’s brother. After the first viewing, and during the break we were all invited back to Jack’s sister house for a bite to eat, and to rest. However a bunch of Jack’s friends, and his fiancée (is it right to still call her that?) decided to go raise a toast to Jack at the bar where he and Tish had met. So Ida and I went along.
When we all reconvened at the funeral parlor for the second viewing, and I was talking to mom, found out that Crazy-cat-lady and her parents, and brother’s did NOT go back to Jack’s sister’s house. Instead they opted to go all the way towards my house, where Crazy’s married brother lives (across the street from me.) Now, is this anyway to show support to someone who has just lost a sibling?
Saturday, the day of the funeral was no different. The lot of Crazy-cat-lady’s gang sat there with pusses on their face as though it was a chore for them to pay respect to a family member who passed away.) Again, don’t get me wrong…going to funeral’s shouldn’t be something anyone looks forward to ‘oh yes, please let’s go!’ (Note sarcasm.) We get to the church for the mass, and everyone is filtering in to the pews, but being that my mother and I were going to be doing the readings, needed to sit on the end, so as not to climb over everyone. Crazy-cat-lady’s parents sat in the pew in front of us, but Crazy and her baldheaded hubby made a point to try to push past, so as to sit on the end, right behind her parents. Why they couldn’t sit WITH her parents is beyond me. So mum says to her ‘______, Rose and I need the end as we’re doing the readings.’ Crazy rolls her eyes, and instead slides down the pew.
Come the part of mass, when you offer the sign of peace to one another….Crazy-cat-lady’s folks do not turn around to offer it to us, nor does C-C-L. However my mother went out of her way to issue it to Crazy-cat-lady, to make a point. Fast forward to the cemetery; where in this cemetery they still hold the casket graveside, and have everyone gather around for the final parting. As everyone is approaching the grave site, Crazy-cat-lady, her mother, father, and one brother ACTUALLY bum rush mom, myself, my aunt and uncle and three cousin’s so as they can be in the first row around the grave opening. Tell me, what the hell is that all about? I had to bite my lip from laughing as they got pushed back, so as Jack’s siblings and Tish could be the ones immediately around it. One of the funeral directors was handing out roses and carnations randomly so we could place them on the casket, and being that I was handed a carnation, Crazy-cat-lady went and SNATCHED a rose, as I had been handed a carnation. My one cousin ‘D’ (who they do not speak to either) looks at me and says: ‘If you have a rose, does it mean you love him more than if you have a carnation?’ I guess in Crazy-cat-lady’s mind it does.
And so, after the final ceremony, as we were making our way back to our cars, my one aunt asks C-C-L’s mother if they were going back to Jack’s sister’s house where the gathering would take place. To our surprise C-C-L’s mother snapped ‘No! We’re going home.’ My aunt then proceeded to tell Crazy-cat-lady’s mother that she would be attending C-C-L’s baby shower (which she is throwing for herself) on her own, as ‘D’ is not going because they never invite ‘D” sister-in-law. (That is a whole other story.) So of course Crazy-cat-lady’s mother got bent out of shape that cousin ‘D’ is not attending. And then the lot of them drove off in a huff leaving us in a cloud of dust so to speak, stewing in their own juices.
And there you have it folks. Family drama continues on, no matter what. Like I was saying to mom and Ida over the weekend, if anything Jack’s death has showed us that life is too short for this crap…it seems Crazy-cat-lady and her family don’t see it.
Labels: Cousin Jack, death, grief, RAGE
posted by Orelinde_03 @ 12:14 PM
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