You are not me....You'll never be me...get over it!

So as it happens, this blog has been focused on the to dips that drive me stark raving mad during the day. Almost to the point where I am running for the hills tearing my hair out of my head. And I think they wouldn't mind seeing that actually.
This morning I get called in to my boss's office to go over payroll, and I ask him who drafted the seating since the office has been reconstructed. Long story short 'the chief' and I are both on the same page when it comes to the 'terror twins' as I will now refer to them as. So anyway this is how my day has shaped up thus far:
After concluding a teleconference with 'the chief', 'Big Bad', our messengers, and 1/2 of the terror twins, I am requested to stay in the conference room with 'the chief'. 'Big Bad' and a terror twin. 'Big Bad' proceeds to write out the word PACIFIC on a pad and asks terror Twin to use the word in sentencece. She blinks her eyes in confusion, and then proceeds to say;
You asked me to say this word for a pacific reason.
'The chief' looks at me in disbelief, as I stare at him and try not to show any reaction. Meanwhile 'Big Bad tries not to burst out laughing as he is just in awe that this is actually taking place. Uh...hello? What have I been saying for months now? She is as dumb as a bag of rocks. And don't get me wrong....I too have my flaws, and am not the sharpest knife in the draw. But, she is just out right D-U-M-B.
'Big Bad' then turns to her (Terror twin) and says, 'congratulations, you qualify for a posistion as messenger.'
Realizing this is not necessarily a compliment she says 'I don't understand' where then 'Big Bad' asks me to use the word in sentence.
The Pacificic Ocean is across the country from the Atlantic Ocean
Easy enough. Done. I knew how to use the word. Terror Twin did not. You're busted...don't make it any worse on yourself by questioning or debating who's right and who's wrong. But does she? Hell no! Because now she is angry that I know my shit. So angry that she feels she must point out that she's a college graduate.
And now I worry. Because if she's a college graduate, which school allowed her to leave their institution? And if they're cranking out graduates such as my wonderful co-worker...how many more did they let escape in to the world of intelligent people? And if these people are graduating from this college, what professions are they in? Because I would hate to be the patient of one of these people.
Because if my doctor told me that 'The pacific reason we need to operate is __________' (fill in the blank, my ass would be running for the hills.
And as I went running for the hills, no doubt screaming at the top of my lungs.
Oh and Terror Twin??? Don't be hating on me, because I know that the reason you're angry is that 'the chief' requests me to do more. I'm not in competition with you as to whom is liked more. I am who I am. Just accept the fact that you'll never be me.

If I had that kind of money why would I be here?

If I had buku bucks, why the hell would I be working in the bat cave being annoyed to death by certain coworkers? And for that matter if I am not engaging you in conversation, as I am WORKING....why are you talking to me about nonsense (such as ophera Winfrey's views on Tommy Hilfiger)?

My point is: I do not play the stock market. I do not pretend to understand the stock market. I would not take a tip from someone who works with me, about buying stock. Not from this source anyway.

And if I had $5 thousand just laying around...I wouldn't be bitching and complaining about the ballroom dance lessons I want to take costing me $2,500. Or taking care of the house repairs that need to be done instead of taking out a home improvement loan. Or booking my vacation to Ireland. Take your stock tips and keep them.

And for the readers, I have no idea what company it is I was told to invest in. After all, I was working, not trying to socialize.

Work. Now isn't that a funny concept?

What part of 'I'm always busy' don't you understand?

Yes, I'm busy.
What do you need?
I. Am. Always. Doing. Something.

And this is my day in the office. My mantra. When I am stuck in office-hell, in the bat cave. Stuck with two co-workers that suck the life AND I.Q. out of me. And then I feel guilty. Guilty for snapping at them. Guilty for being annoyed by their inability to comprehend what the hell they do as their job task, on a daily basis.

Coworker (A) Is just a dumbass. He knows all, has done it all. Yet he has no idea how to tool around in Excel. YET HE USES IT ALL THE TIME!!! You can't tell him anything, because he already knows whatever it is you try to impart on him. And if he doesn't go that route, he's either singing or making comments that 'you're in a mood'. Or talking to me when I am on the phone, yet when I am not on the phone he has nothing to say.

Coworker (B) is more complex. She is the nicest person you could imagine. Just dumb as a bag of rocks. She can do the same thing 100 times without any problem. But come that 101 time of doing it, it's totally Greek to her. And all she does is chatter. Chatter about nothing, sulk if you don't feed in to her idle chatter. Get grouchy if you actually try to do your own work.

And God help us all if Coworker (A) asks me for help on the same issue for the umpteenth time. Because no sooner than I attempt to assist that one, then Coworker (B) pipe up that they need me. Who is more whinny or demanding or pushes my buttons more? That's the one that I cave in to and gnash my teeth and hold their hand through their same old task that they always do.

Are you busy?
Oh, I didn't mean to bother you.
Can you help me?
Hey...I never saw this happen?
Can you take a look at this a second?
Are you busy?

obviously I am! I am trying to tune your whinny voices out. Trying to get my stuff done so I can go home during the light of day! Trying to get my paperwork and filing done. Busy? You don't know the half of it. Because I am busy wiping your 50+ and 40+ year old asses since you can't seem to figure that out.

Oh crap! Let's not even mention that one. Because next thing you know................