Fears, phobias, and new quirks I've acquired

It’s silly to be afraid of things that are so grandiose. You know what I mean…such as being abducted by aliens or having Earth invaded by aliens. Being chomped on and killed by a shark. (Ok, that isn’t so far fetched….but it’s a fear of mine.) The shark thing is so huge for me, that I refuse to try and learn how to surf because of all the shark attacks. And even when I am in the ocean, constantly scan the open water for ANY sign of a fin. Yet come shark week, who’s sitting in front of the telly? And how many times have I watched Jaws or Deep Blue Sea? It’s insane. Hell, I make fun of myself over this stuff. Bugs! Spiders, particularly…let’s not even go there.
But last night I have discovered a new fear. And this one is well warranted. Really! As we know, cats like to reward their owners with gifts of appreciation such as dead mice or birds (if outside cats.) My two bundles of fur are strictly indoor cats as I’m sure I may have mentioned in past posts. And I’ve had them for three WONDERFUL years now. But this new fear of mine has only come in to play this summer. Since the end of July up until now, it seems every cricket, in the free world has decided to take up residency in my house. Ok…that’s a bit of an exaggeration…because it’s not like they’re hopping all over, or we’re infested. But there has been constant cricket serenades coming from my basement and garage since July. And Pooka and Cro`i love to hunt insects. They’ve rescued me from insects more than once. But the mc-kittens have taken to spending their daytime hours stalking the crickets in the basement and batting them to death. We think it’s funny. At least I had...until last night.
I got home from dance class after 10, and was exhausted from being at the Aerosmith concert the night before. However for some reason, my (wonderful) mother decided to shred papers. She keeps the shredder upstairs. Ida has been sleeping in the family room, because she is more comfortable….so I decided to join Ida there so I could watch a bit of the boob-tube before conking out on the HUGE ‘bordello couch’. And of course my two mini-lions, my protectors who sleep with me took tot heir posts. Pooka on the back/ or top of the couch above me…and Cro`i claiming her spot (as she has since day one) on my legs.
2:30am this morning, I felt Cro`i get up, and hop down off me and the couch. It seemed (in my half-sleep state) that she heard a cricket, and was stalking it. I heard noises, such as the chirping, and then....oh God....the crunching. Could it be that she was eating the cricket? Legs, and body parts hanging out of her mouth, stuck to her whiskers? Oh please...don’t let it be that. And I lay there, and hear her scurrying about...eyes open, see Pooka watching in fascination. Great...he now thinks this is a spectator sport. And yet more crunching. How many has Cro`i slayed at this hour? And then the FEAR sets in. My NEW PHOBIA. Something way worse than having either of them chomp a cricket. What if....and this SO could happen. What if they decide to catch and mangle a cricket and then bring it to me as a gift? What if they decide to deposit it on the pillow, next to my head and do their meow that they know wakes me up? What if I open my eyes and see a cricket next to me? I would scream, scare the crap out of them...perhaps startle the cricket if it is still alive and make it jump towards me...and also insult my cats by not appreciating their ‘gift’. What’s a 30 year old girl, who comes up with these crazy fears to do?!?
I’ll tell you exactly what she’s to do. Because I did it last night. I ever so softly call Ida’s name, and being that she’s on the other curve of the ‘bordello couch’, reach over and begin to shake her. “Ida...Ida....IDA! I think Cro`i has a cricket” I call in a persistent, yet loud stage whisper until she grasps what I’m telling her. ‘I’m afraid she chomping on it, and maybe will bring it to me as a gift. Go see what’s going on.” And true to her nature and love for me; her niece & God child, she does this. Because she knows I will freak if I am right about what I think I hear going on.
But it wasn’t what I thought it was. Cro`i as it turns out had an upset tummy and puked her little mc-kitten brains out. In two spots. Turns out that the cat treats Temptations is too harsh on her system. (I had given them to her earlier in the night and this has happened before.) But I tried it again due to it being a different type of Temptations. So there was NO cricket hunting or chomping of any sort. And that was a great relief...although I was upset about her being sick. However that doesn’t erase the fear I have of being woke from a deep slumber by a meow, and finding myself staring at a cricket inches from my head.